


Observation

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Character Study, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-07
Updated: 2006-03-07
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:05:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel's thoughts on what he's observed, or who





	Observation

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Thanks to my Beta, Gateroller!  


* * *

I have to wear glasses otherwise I can't see properly, that's the general consensus. Can't argue with that, no glasses and everything is just a blur.

Still, it never ceases to amaze me how people with supposed perfect vision just don't see. Not even things right under their noses; talk about not seeing the wood for the trees. Mind you, that's become somewhat easier for me to understand now since I've recently realised I was just as guilty of that as the rest of the human race.

I sit here now across the table from him, the cause of my epiphany. I've known the man for five years and yet it was only recently that I really saw him, saw the way he saw me. Then I realised that I was, for a time, thankfully a very short time, afraid. Not of him, never of him; of me. Could I accept what he was offering me?

It only took one touch, one brush of his fingers to know. I not only wanted what he was offering, I _needed_ it, and I _needed_ him. Also, I realised that he not only wanted me but he _needed_ me and that filled my heart with joy. I had missed that, being desired and more importantly being needed.

That was when I really began to look, to watch the man I had come to love. You see, I wondered what else I'd been missing. It took me a while to understand why that one touch had communicated so much to me. Jack had always been tactile, always little touches, my arm, my shoulder, a ruffle of my hair, a hand to the small of my back. Of course there were the hugs too, occasional; special it was true, but oh so welcome. I never could let anyone else get that close to me, something else I had never bothered to question, it just was.

So why this time, why this touch? I worked it out, simple really, because I understood what the touch meant to him; I saw. Not just with my eyes, but with my heart. It meant something to Jack so it meant something to me. The warmth that ran through me was invigorating.

My next thought was how much I'd missed during the last five years. How long has Jack felt like that? Jack admitted to me that he had been feeling this love -- _god to hear that word from Jack_ \- for a long time, since before Shau'ri had died. It had crept up on him until even he wasn't sure when it really began; but there was no way he could say anything. Not until I was free and even then Jack admitted to some fear himself; fear of rejection, fear of losing my friendship. Jack said he just couldn't face that.

So long, it had been so long. I had been blind for so long. So much for wearing glasses!

So now I look, I watch, I see.

Like now, taking part in a briefing as we have done nearly every day for the past five years; the same, but oh so different. My Colonel, that bored, snarky, hard-ass soldier who never seemed to listen to my presentations. He would sit there with eyes half-closed seemingly tuning out those parts not directly concerning the military aspects. I had always recognised that was not really the case because he always knew exactly what was necessary to keep us safe and achieve a successful mission whenever possible. Now I understood what he was really doing when he was pretending not to listen.

He was observing me.

Whenever I turned my back to point out something on the screen he was watching my ass. I think I'm glad I never knew that back then, I'd have been as embarrassed as hell. Now I like that he can't keep his eyes, or his hands off it.

I also discovered when I'm talking and he slides down in his seat slouching and playing with his pen or doodling, what he is actually doing, is watching my mouth. He told me he loves to watch my lips, but also if I get really passionate about whatever I'm discussing my eyes light up. I got kinda embarrassed about that. Jack got all mushy and I melted when he told me he could imagine floating in the sea of my eyes. I could never have imagined just how romantic Jack really is.

Like when we're on missions. I always imagined that he watched over me in that protective mother-hen way of his because it was his duty, and because he cared for his team, his friends. Jack admitted that was all true, but there was more. He didn't only watch over me, he watched me. He watched as I lay flat out digging in my trenches, or when I stretched up to reach the top of a column to trace some markings, or as I would lean over some altar on a far off world. He watched the way my body moved, the definition of my muscles in my back or thighs. The gluteal muscles as they moved under my BDUs. I remember that evening, lying in his arms on his sofa as he told me that. I remember how aroused I became by his description of his own arousal. The more I learned of him, the more I began to know myself.

I had made love to Shau'ri and it had been wonderful but I had to admit to myself that I never achieved the heights of passion I do with Jack. I also knew I was falling more in love with him day by day and we'd have a lifetime to spend together. Although I had been so much in love with Shau'ri, I already felt closer to Jack, more known by Jack that I had ever been by Shau'ri. I found this hard to understand but I also knew it was true. I knew that Jack was truly the other half of my soul.

That was another reason I watched Jack. He told me how much he loved me and please believe me when I assure you that I don't doubt that, but as I came to the realisation of his love by observation I felt that perhaps I could judge its depth the same way. Perhaps that was naïve of me, I can't argue that possibility but still I observe.

I observe the way he nervously twirls the pen when he knows I am watching him. He can't hide from me anymore the way he used to. I know he keeps his hands moving like that because his hands would rather be busy elsewhere. Touching me. He daren't look at me either, that's why his eyes are darting everywhere. If he looked at me he couldn't look anywhere but at my mouth, unless perhaps it was at my eyes. He really has a thing for my eyes, you know. Good thing I'm sitting at the moment or I might blush at what I'm pretty sure he's thinking and how it is making me feel. We made an agreement to keep this off base, to behave perfectly normally while at work. We do, at least physically we do, but mentally that's a whole other ball game as Jack might say; for both of us.

Just as I observe him now, he still observes me. Can't help it, either of us. Not sure we want to anyway.

As I sit here now watching him, my mind drifts back to last night when we were making love and I was buried deep inside him as he squirmed beneath me. Just as he reached climax our eyes met and I saw my soul looking out at me from his eyes. How much more do I need to see?


End file.
